SWALLOW GLITTER

Here are some looks I've done over the past year or so. I work in night clubs as a host and perform and to be honest, I find it to be a somewhat oppressive job. I thoroughly enjoy doing looks as it is a means of visual expression and the dramatics of performing, however having to do it every week at the same places with the same issues has become monotonous and tedious. Whenever I tell people I don't enjoy it anymore as a job, they're quite shocked or even angry and say they would love to get paid to attend a nightclub or dance. I desire a different lifestyle and  I would love to leave but it is quite hard to find other work. That is why I have constantly pursued and persevered with my true love which is fashion design and creative direction. 

It's interesting because being paid to party and socialize in a forced way becomes really tedious, it definitely has dark undertones. I'm sure many people with a vast range of jobs also feel trapped. I do think working in the nightlife is an enriching experience, it allows you to gain a complex understanding of human behavior and interaction - life generally does that too but because of the exaggerated context it results in particularly intriguing revelations. I find it to be an incredibly superficial job (like many), it is purely dependent on how you present yourself. Even though a 'look' is a wonderful and personal form of expression, people absorb it and react to it. 

For example I (like everyone) transform, distort and transmogrify my body and physical self as a commentary and expression but it is being critiqued in an oddly superficial way. It's almost like "authentic" superficiality, like anything visual I suppose; whether it's art, performance art or fashion. I think visually 'feeding' people can be frustrating and draining but also extremely rewarding and happiness inducing, it is rather hard to escape that situation though because presence and physicality  of humans, objects and nature is everything and minds obviously have to process aesthetic information. Also if people didn't visually absorb things and react there would be no context and discussion / forum for visual expression.